Customer: Are these the biggest teapots you have?
Assistant: We have more over there, but they're not spotted.
Customer: Are they bigger?
Assistant: No.
I suspect the sales assistant didn't understand why the customer left looking unimpressed. But such is the nature of actively listening: very few do it and those that don't leave a trail of unhappy people in their wake and never understand why.
Whilst the example above is particularly obvious, I'm sure we've all been guilty of not listening at one time or other. I know I have. I can still remember the customer who came into my bookstore holding a newspaper clipping. "I read this review in the newspaper at the weekend..." she said to me. "Ah, say no more", I responded, whizzing off to the shelf to get the book. When I returned with it, looking very pleased with myself, the customer finally had the chance to say "it was the second volume I was after". Of course, if I had simply let her finish what she was saying, it would have saved us both time and I would have looked a darn sight more professional.
So, what is active listening, and why do so few people do it? Active listening is about understanding and not just hearing. Gaining understanding of what people are telling you requires a set of habits which people can often find difficult to practice.
There are four key elements to active listening, and the first is also the most difficult - keeping an open mind. Unless you're a machine, you will have attitudes and assumptions that have developed over time; these must be set aside if you're to listen to what is being said, rather than what you think is being said.
Active listening also takes time. Try to rush it, and you're going to miss cues, as well as make your customer feel they're being a nuisance to you. Whilst the various demands on your time can make this difficult, it's the exception which should prove the rule.
You communicate a great deal through your body language, so use body language which will encourage open discussion and show your interest in what is being said. Face the person you're speaking with and maintain eye contact. Nod your head to acknowledge understanding. Smile.
If you're not sure you understand what is being said, ask questions. Open questions are best for drawing out information and engaging in discussion. However, there are times when closed questions are needed to help clarify precisely what's being discussed. Reflective questions are also very useful, as they summarise the discussion to check understanding. They also show the customer you've been listening to what they have said.
In summary, to actively listen, you need to:
- Keep an open mind
- Take time to listen
- Use appropriate body language
- Interact and ask questions
Is any of this ground breaking? Not really. Does it take a conscious effort to do? Absolutely. For it to become habit it first needs to be a practiced consistently. Consistency is a difficult thing to achieve, but well worth the effort.
It's probably already struck you that active listening isn't just about customer service and selling. It's invaluable in all relationships and interactions, whether it's your staff, the person who services your car, family members, your suppliers or anyone else. If you're not actively listening, you don't know what you're missing.
As ever, if you have any questions, comments or feedback, I love to hear it.
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